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As regards every big-budget FX flick that hits the multiplexes, you'll unearth at least a half-dozen copies, ripoffs and retreads populating the video stacks and hiding on the late night cable channels. These films are usually comprised of hastily written and insipid screenplays, special effects that repeal the Krofft Brothers' Land of the Lost, atrocious production values, and Casper Van Dien or Lancet Henriksen.
In nearly every instance, the DVD cover art is the most compelling thing about the flick and you'll end up humiliated that you have to bring a third-rate version of
Anaconda
back to Blockbuster where all the movie nerds will snicker at you.
Which brings up
Scorcher
. Blatantly inspired by such modern classics as
The Core
and
Armageddon
,
Scorcher
is about as low-rent and derivative as a knock-off can possibly be – which is both a good thing and bad. But mostly bad.
Apparently the Chinese goverment is all to blame here, as their illegal nuclear testing has somehow unhinged some underwater fault-lines below California. The only way the Earth can be saved from incineration? Well, the detonation of a nuclear bomb in downtown Los Angeles, of course! Needless to say we have a swaggering hero, a fetching lady doctor, her brilliant Daddy scientist and a generic gaggle of soon-to-be-sidekicks all on the case. Any of this sounding familiar yet?
I could rattle off the non-stop parade of inanity, beginning with a subplot that sees ALL of L.A.'s citizens quietly moved out of town within 24 hours and ending with the Daddy/daughter schmear of "Oh my god they're actually trying to instill some actual DRAMA into this astonishingly silly disaster flick!"…but what's the point? Anyone who voluntarily drops four bucks to rent this one most likely already knows what they're in for: cinema cheese of the highest order.
Heck, it's not hard to have a minimally good time with a B-movie that delivers the ensemble of Mark Dacascos, John Rhys-Davies, G.W. Bailey and Rutger Hauer (as the President!)… but
Scorcher
is only "good stupid fun" in short bursts. What starts out as a gleefully obvious rehash of all the disaster-flick cliches we all know and love slowly turns into a flick with very few ideas… which is weird considering the stunning amount of "source material" there is out there. In other words, the set-up is compelling and fun, but the farther you get into
Scorcher
the less interested you become. A wholesale ripoff can still be entertaining… but not if it's just plain old boring.
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Scorcher
is of questionable note to film freaks for its perpetual use of stock footage from other films. As if it's not transparent enough that
Scorcher
is a pastiche of six earlier (and considerably more expensive) movies, scattered throughout this fool's epic you'll find snippets of
Terminator 2: Judgment Day
,
Daylight
and
Volcano
(or maybe it was
Dante's Peak
; all you volcano movies look alike to me.) So we've now come to the point in the evolution of cinema in which studios release NEW movies that are largely comprised (both figuratively and literally) of earlier movies. And people buy them.
I digress. "Scorcher" is quite simply not worthy of such extensive contemplation. If you dig C-grade cable-flick cheese (or the name Rutger Hauer means you'll see the movie regardless), then you could certainly opt for a less entertaining than this one.
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